It has been over 2,000 years since the Day of Pentecost. It was the birth of the New Testament church. As we read the letters written to the church, many by the hand of Apostle Paul, we see the sins that beset us today were in the young new church. The young church did not have Bibles in their homes. The letters were written and passed from church to church to be read to the congregations.
One might think that since we have the Bible and it’s been available to us for centuries, we would be living Holy as He is Holy. With this Biblical knowledge, we should not be fighting the same sins that were in the early church. But this is not true. Satan who is the god of this world is still influencing believers to become involved in all types of sexual sins.
In Galatians the 5th chapter, Paul warns about the works of the flesh that include all sexual sins and he said, “If you do these things you shall not have a part in the kingdom of God.” In 1 Corinthians the 5th chapter, Paul talks to the church about a man who is having sex with his father’s wife (step mother).
The commentary in the Life in the Spirit Study Bible on I Cor. 5:1 states the following, “The permissiveness of the Corinthians speaks to our situation today. Many churches today are tolerant of and silent about immorality among their members, including adultery and all forms of sexual immorality. Premarital sexual intimacy, especially among church youth, is not only tolerated but at times justified upon the pretense of love and commitment. More than a few leaders in the church fail to challenge in Christ’s name the immoral dating habits of today’s youth. Like the Corinthian leaders, they refuse to mourn over the defilement of God’s people as the people become more and more like the society in which they live. In self-complacency these leaders permit sin because so they claim, ‘we live in the modern day and must not be judgmental.’
Vs 2 – Paul expresses what should be the normal reaction of a Spirit-filled church to the immorality found among its professing members. Those who embrace the Biblical view of God’s holiness and His revulsion to sin will be moved to sorrow and regret. They will remove wickedness from among them.”
The above two paragraphs were commentary written by theologians of our day. Because I provide nationwide counseling by phone/Skype for pastors and lay people, I’m counseling on these issues daily: fornication, adultery, sexual abuse, pornography addiction, sexual addiction and the emotional pain attached to each of these sins.
Our pastors need to be teaching about sexual purity for all ages on a continual basis. Everyone knows that sexual sins are wrong, but they have no idea the consequences of these sexual sins.
All sexual sins happen because of selfishness. All sex outside of the safe environment of marriage (God sets boundaries for our provision and our protection) is sought to satisfy selfish sexual desires. They are not for the betterment of the other person! Participating in any of the above sexual sins is from a sinful selfish desire to appease the flesh.
Fornication degrades the person. It is having no respect for God or self. It is looking for ‘love’ in all the wrong places. When David was confronted about his adultery and the cover up murder, he said, “I have sinned against the Lord.” When Joseph refused to have sex with Potiphar’s wife he said to her, “I cannot sin against God!”
Seeking sexual stimulation in any manner outside of the boundaries of marriage is sinning against God. I hear the excuses from young people, “Well, we were gonna get married anyway.” Those who marry after having sex bring that pre-marital sin into their marriage. They become angry at each other. The sacredness of marriage was destroyed. I counsel them to repent and forgive each other. Sometime there is so much emotional damage it’s difficult to do so. Their relationship with God needs to be restored and they have to be instructed how to build trust with each other that was broken by the sin.
Other young people have outer sex/oral sex and try to use the excuse that since it is not intercourse it is not having sex. This is not true! Anything done with sexual parts of the body is having sex. After sex, some break up and go on to another partner. They continue to participate in sexual activity and repeat the pattern of mini emotional/physical divorces. This sets them up to experiencing adultery latter in a marriage.
Adultery happens when a spouse is drawn away by his/her own lust. It starts with emotional attachment leading to emotional adultery and then to physical adultery. God has been left out of the decisions. This is why in my book, GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIGE, I wrote on how to protect your marriage setting godly boundaries. There must be a commitment to God and spouse to keep God in the middle of the marriage or Satan will do his dirty work of tempting and the marriage will implode.
Satan is attempting to destroy souls worldwide through sexual abuse, sexual addictions, pornography addictions, sex trafficking, etc. Sexual abuse victims are sitting on our church pews. Many victims were then introduced to porn at a young age. The addiction to porn can lead to repeating the pattern of sexual abuse, fornication, homosexuality and adultery – it’s a vicious cycle of sin.
Sadly, the church is almost silent on all these subjects yet they are pervasive among us. It’s like the illustration of having an elephant in the house. We walk around him, feed him, pick up his poops, but refuse to talk about the elephant in the house. We must bring the sexual sins out of the church ‘closet’ and confront, teach, encourage, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine – preach the Word. If we do not, people will go to hell and stand in judgment to leadership and say, “Why didn’t you help us? Why didn’t you continue to teach us and admonish us?”
I’m certified as a sexual addiction recovery counselor. It is God’s Word that gives hope for healing and deliverance. The person involved must genuinely repent of the sexual sin/addiction and desire to heal and change. It takes Holy Ghost determination to stop the sin and be transformed by renewing the mind with God’s truth in obedience. When a person is involved in sexual sins/addictions for many years, one prayer does not take away the desire. There is a process of ‘rewiring’ the brain for righteousness – continual prayer, digesting God’s Word, submitting to God-thoughts instead of sex thoughts that lead to sinful actions.
Some people share they live two separate lives: one is the lonely inner core sexual addiction and its deeds; the other is the ‘spiritual self’ they portray around family and church. Many live this double life for years with its constant guilt and shame. It ruins marriages and ministries. This person does not have the ability to have a close relationship with God or others because they are living a lie.
Sexual abuse victims are sitting on our church pews with salvation, but a hurting heart. They feel helpless, hopeless, unlovable, dirty, unworthy, etc. They are full of shame and many times ‘carry’ the guilt that belongs to the perpetrator. They need help in erasing Satan’s lies with God’s truth. They need help to know that their past does not define who they are today in Christ Jesus.
This is why the church needs to become equipped to be healing helpers. I have a DVD available through my website: www.carolclemans.org explaining: JESUS, THE HEALER OF OUR BROKENNESS. The pastors that call me to counsel their church people with sexual sins say, “I do not know how to help people with sexual addictions. I don’t know how to help people heal from sexual abuse.” They are thankful that I’m available to be used as a conduit to help restore the sincere heart through God’s truth.
As long as we live on earth in Satan’s territory there will be temptation, but we ‘can do all things through Christ who infuses His inner strength into us!’ God says draw close to me and I will draw close to you. When we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive the sin. We must take responsibility of the healing process and do the application for the transformation though His Spirit and His Truth!
© Carol Clemans – April 2015
www.carolclemans.org, (636) 448-0121 – call to schedule seminars or confidential counseling nationwide by phone/Skype. You can choose to be healed from sexual sins and addictions.