What is the father wound? It is an emotional wound that happens to people who have been abused, neglected, unloved or abandoned by their birth father. God is our heavenly Father. He is our Creator and then became our Savior by coming in flesh to die on a cross to pay a high price for our sins.
God instructs earthly fathers to “not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” – Ephesians 6:4. God’s greatest commandment tells us to love God, love self and love others.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” – I Corinthians 13: 4 – 7.
1 John 4:8 – says, “God is love.” The father who is abusive or neglectful or harsh and unforgiving towards his child builds a horrible fear in the heart of the child. When this child becomes an adult and enters into a relationship with God (their heavenly Father) they unconsciously transfer the heavy fear/anxiety of their earthly father to their heavenly Father.
This is also described as a distorted God-concept. Even though this adult child has experienced a new birth in Christ with water baptism and the infilling of the Holy Ghost, there is an emotional disconnect with the thought of God being the Heavenly Father. If they could not trust and emotionally bond with the earthly father, there is a major struggle with trusting and spiritually bonding with God, the Heavenly Father.
The Word of God heals the emotional father wound through the transforming of the mind. First, we must study and absorb into our heart and soul the definition of God’s love as shared above. God’s love never fails. His love is not based on performance or conditions. God’s love is unconditional. God loved us before the foundation of the world. Love comes from the Greek word ahan that means love in action. God proved His love for us by laying down His flesh on the cross for our sins.
God fully loves, fully forgives and fully accepts all who come to Him. We become His special treasure. We are His royal priesthood and holy nation. We are set aside for the purpose of bringing glory to God in our bodies that belong to God. We are the temple (house) of the Holy Ghost that is God in us the hope of glory – I Corinthians 6. We do not earn God’s love; it is a gift from God.
God is not a man (earthly father) that He should lie or abuse or neglect His children. He promised to never leave or forsake us. The wounded heart must allow God to become more than head knowledge. We have to allow God to take our head knowledge of Him and allow it to become heart knowledge. We must decide to take ownership of God’s love and truth. By the power of Jesus name, we must take captive all the negative thoughts that the devil puts in our mind and rebuke his lies. Then we must replace the devil’s lies with God truth.
Speak God’s truth. “I am God’s beloved. I am God’s child. I’ve been forgiven of all my sins. My sins our under the blood. I am God’s special treasure. I am redeemed. God is my creator. God is my Savior.
I am a child of the King. God will never leave me or forsake me. God accepts me as I am. Jesus loves me. He is not angry with me. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but love, power and a sound mind.”
The childhood fear of the earthly father can create anxiety in the adult’s life. There can be a constant anxiety of never ‘measuring up’ to the expectations of God and others because one could never please their birth father. This is based on the devil’s lies. Satan wants to kill, steal and destroy our faith in God. We must do the hard work of replacing Satan’s lies with God’s truth over and over and over again. Keep replacing the lies with God’s truth through prayer and reading God’s Word.
Faith and trust is built through God’s Word. God changes not. His Word does not change. His promises are true. Allow yourself some time to change the way that you think. Most people have been fighting these negative thoughts for 20 to 40 years. Remember, we can be transformed by renewing our minds – it’s a continual process. Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.
Why do evil things happen to innocent people? Because evil is in the heart of people and evil people hurt people. A parent who is emotionally wounded and believes in a harsh God will hurt his or her own children. Many children who have been abused in any way will act out in their own sin when they get older. After salvation, Satan loves to rub your nose in the former sin and says, “God does not love you.” But, he is telling you a lie. When God forgives, He also has the ability to forget your sin! That is God’s truth! So, you must accept God’s complete forgiveness.
Any negative thought is from the devil. When it enters your mind, rebuke the thought in Jesus name and start quoting scripture. Jesus rebuked Satan every time when he was tempted in the wilderness with, “It is written!” This is why everyone must become a student of the Word of God. “When you know the truth, the truth shall make you free” – John 8:32. “The sword of the Spirit is the Word of God” – Ephesians 6:17. Fight the enemy of your soul with God’s Word.
I sometimes challenge the wounded heart with this question, “Do you really want to be healed and change?” It may seem a bit harsh, but sometimes people want to remain in the ‘drama’ of their pain by their continual drawing others into their ‘stinkin thinkin’ to get attention. God wants to ‘re-parent’ the wounded heart.
Here is another question, “Are you willing to go through the greater pain of change than to remain in the pain to stay the same?” Change is hard work. Change takes discipline of prayer and fasting (from distractions) to study (devour) the Word of God. The Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.
Maybe you’ve been living in this fear/anxiety I have described. Through God’s truth you can be set free. I provide confidential nationwide phone/Skype counseling – (636) 448-0121 – as a certified pastoral counselor. I also love to speak for churches/conferences and share God’s anointed Word with life-giving hope for change. Go to my website: www.carolclemans.org for bio,over 150 articles, teaching CD’s & DVD’s and book: God’s Design for Marriage. Jesus is the healer of our physical, emotional and spiritual wounds. I thank God for opportunity to be a conduit of His truth through teaching, writing and counseling God’s Word.
© Carol Clemans – May 2015