God-followers do not sexually sin or abuse others!
This article is being written out of my heart as a pastoral counselor and Bible teacher. (Go to www.carolclemans.org and read my ‘about ministry’ page.) I provide confidential pastoral counseling nationwide for pastors/lay people (27 years). Some of the major issues I deal with is all types of abuse (verbal, emotional, sexual, physical) and all sexual sins.
We would love to believe that no abuse takes place in the homes/churches of people who claim a relationship with God, but this is not true. Sexual abuse recovery is at the top of the list of people who call me for help. The next highest is pornography addiction. Third, is marriage/family. Porn addiction is the ‘silent killer’ within the church that is destroying hearts, souls, minds, marriages, and people of all ages including children.
All of the above creates anxiety, panic attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, that I also counsel. In many cases, the perpetrator of the abuse denies, lies, threatens, intimidates, their victims and still claims to be a Christian. Their evil abuse is done in the home or other secret places. They refuse to acknowledge the sin of their evil actions and threats. They blame others for their evil deeds. Many husbands blame their wives for his use of porn – “You don’t satisfy me!” The truth is most husbands (that I have counseled) who are addicted to porn brought this sin into their marriage! They defrauded the marriage before it was consummated after God’s design. (Many of the porn addicted men were sexually abused as a child. This is not an excuse. There needs to be emotional, spiritual and relational healing through God’s truth).
All evil comes out of evil hearts (even those who claim to know God). James 1:13-15 (AMPC)
13 “Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one.
14 But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).
(Note: He is enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions) – no person can blame their sin on others – it is by his/her own evil desire! A husband cannot abandon his wife because he is ‘unhappy’ and blame her for his sinful decision. He is in trouble with God for abdicating is responsibility as pastor/priest of the home).
15 Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.”
10 “I the Lord search the mind, I try the heart, even to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.” The ‘fruit of his doings’ includes evil doings.
If you sow evil deeds, you will reap evil consequences! When a person chooses to do evil, he/she cannot blame anyone else for his/her choices! They do though with verbal abuse, “You made me do this!” That is a lie from the pit of hell!
We humans function in this manner: Our thoughts create our feelings and we (act out) choose our words/actions from how we feel. The devil cannot make us do anything! Other people are not responsible for our choices! We are solely responsible for what we choose to do!
If you know someone is abusing a child, call authorities! If you are being abused, climb out of your box of fear and report the abuse to church leaders and/or the authorities. The abuser becomes empowered and eviler when everyone lives in fear.
This is where church leaders must be God-centered and handle the sexual sins including abuse (sexual assault) with godly authority. Many Christian leaders down through time have played the coverup game of sexual sins far too long. The Catholic leadership being most notable in sexual sin coverup.
Read what Paul wrote to the Corinthian church regarding the sexual sins they were allowing. He said it must be exposed and if the person continues in the sin, do not fellowship or sit down and eat at the same table – that includes porn use. Satisfying self sexually while viewing porn is committing adultery! If one looks and lusts, they have already committed adultery in their heart – Jesus’ words! It is a self-induced chemical addiction. All sin comes out of a sinful heart! God does not give ‘excuse passes’ to people based on pedigree or position. Sin is sin!
Today I heard Dr. Adrian Rodgers (1931-2005) teach on American Family Radio from his past years of ministry. He was teaching about the responsibility of the husband/father in the home. The godly husband/father will have the characteristics of God. He will love his wife and children sacrificially. He will be the loving protector and provider for his family. He will help the children understand a loving God (1 Cor. 13), our heavenly Father, by allowing the fruit of the Spirit in his life (Gals. 5). Love, joy and peace will reign in the home when the husband/father is patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle/meek and has self-control. It is being Holy Ghost controlled!
There is no place for any type of abuse or explosive uncontrolled anger coming from a person that claims to be Christ-like. All abusive actions are sinful to God. Our words and actions reveal our hearts. I pray these words of truth from God helps a stubborn sinful abusive person to recognize their sin and genuinely repent before God.
No sin will enter into heaven!
Revelation 21:8 New King James Version (NKJV)
8 “But the cowardly, [a]unbelieving, abominable (abominable = causing moral revulsion), murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
Hell will be suffering forever. It’s not burning up like a piece of cardboard – NO – it is eternal punishment/torture with Satan. Is your anger and abuse worth going to hell eternally? God would that all would come to repentance. God will never take choice away from humans. We choose our eternity!
To all the victims of abuse: God’s truth can heal wounded hearts. Romans 12: 1 & 2 – “be ye transformed by renewing your minds” – with God’s truth. Do not allow what happened in the past or present abuse to define you. Allow God to define you by His Word! God’s truth about who you are in Him will make you free!
God hates all abuse. God did not cause the abuse. All abuse comes out of an evil heart. God will be your avenger in His timing – no one will escape the judgment of God. God will help you walk through forgiving the pain caused by the abuser as a gift to self. Forgiving is never excusing the sin. Without genuine repentance, the abuser will face God’s eternal judgment.
God came to earth – He was manifest in the flesh – the God-man suffered horrible abuse. He understands your broken heart. God is the healer of the broken in heart! He brings hope and healing through the power of the resurrection. Through salvation, we have God in us the hope of glory!
I will use every open-door God allows to stand for God’s truth and righteousness through teaching, counseling and writing. Stand with me in prayer and action. Refuse to live in fear.
2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
www.carolclemans.org – Certified Pastoral Counselor, Anointed Bible Teacher, Certified Christian Life Coach, Sexual Addiction Recovery Facilitator. Call (636) 448-0121 to schedule counseling or teaching for your church/conference. Order: God’s Design for Marriage. Read 500+ articles.
Join my membership teaching site: www.patreon.com/carolclemans – My teaching is to help the hurting heal/grow spiritually, emotionally and relationally. Also, people can learn how to be Healing Helpers.
Mins. Ref: Pastor Daniel Batchelor, Dupo, IL